My Battle Scars

Do you ever find your own ugliness fascinating?  OK, let me explain what I mean.  I don’t think I’m an ugly person overall, but the skin on my tummy is pretty darned ugly.  I have battle scars from this war of the bulge I have fought for so long, and from two pregnancies.  That skin has been through the wringer! 

I can see why women get tummy tucks.  I’m sure lots of women feel the same way I do about their abdominal skin.  But I will never forget an episode I saw of the TV show, “Dr. G:  Medical Examiner”. It was about a mom who had lost weight and decided to go under the knife to fix her loose tummy skin.  Horribly, she died from the complications of her tummy tuck.  I hope I never want to risk my life for vanity.  Losing weight for me was about being healthier and hopefully having more time on this earth with my husband and kids.  And I’m not one to want to wear a bikini again—they were never in the cards for this one-piece girl.  Lastly, and very fortunately, I am happily married to the man I’ve been with since I was 18.  He knows where my battle scars come from and they don’t seem to bother him.

So, I don't want a tummy tuck, but I do have an idea that some may find strange.  For some reason, I’m interested in examining my stomach even more closely. My idea is to take close-up photographs of the flesh there in the hope that they will look like landscapes—maybe even beautiful or interesting ones. To quote Jason Mraz’s song, I’m going to try to see "The Beauty in Ugly”. Maybe I can transform my feelings about my tummy skin this way.  Someday, if the photographs turn out in a satisfying way, and I work up enough courage, I’ll post one here with a follow-up blog entry. 

P.S.  A friend just posted this picture on Facebook, the same day I posted this blog entry.  This is NOT my picture.  But it's beautiful.